I have been hounded for the past few weeks by this feeling of impending doom. I want to just ignore it, discard it as merely a symptom of anxiety, but I can’t. I think it is tied to the fact that the weather has gone haywire and winter basically never happened. Maybe a part of me just knows this is not normal and that this is not good.
Maybe it’s because I am stressed with work bullshit, maybe it’s because I am actually dying, who knows, but the feeling that something is going to happen and it will be bad has been looming over me for weeks now. In order to calm myself I have to remind myself that nothing ever happens.
For years now we have been walking up to this edge and not going over. Sure the water is getting warmer and we are going to be boiled in it some day but that day never seems to come. We skirt disaster and keep managing to avoid it, all the while things just keep getting worse for the average person.
Right now, in my country, a 2 adult household, making what was once considered a good wage cannot afford a house. Even renting is untenable. Food costs more and more, basic necessities only go up but wages seem to keep stagnant. We just keep sleepwalking this path to no where. Running on a hamster wheel. A treadmill, just putting in more and more effort but getting nothing out of it.
We will have to work ten times as hard as our parents to afford the same life we grew up with. It’s basic math, my childhood home costs 10 times what it did when my parents bought it twenty years ago. So If I want the same standard of housing for myself and my family I need to make ten times the money but that’s not there. I work ten hour days sometimes six days a week, at a job that requires a post secondary education as well as additional training, and still can’t get close to what I grew up with.
Still nothing happens. We just keep shuffling along. The seasons start to blend into one long summer, property, in a country that is mostly vacant land, stays out of reach for a working person like me. For every penny saved there are ten pennies added to the price of what you want.
Still nothing happens. The prices go up, dollar stays worthless, and we get no where and nothing happens. Nothing ever happens. That is what I need to remember, what I need to tell myself. A reminder that even if it all feels like it is coming down it won’t. because we are on the same loop. Over and over again the same things happen. Nothing bad, nothing good, just static. Spinning tires, getting no where.
I think I need to stop pressing on the gas. Just go with the flow. Float down the river, stop trying to swim against it. Maybe that is the trick.
You wouldn’t think that nothing ever happens if you watched the news, but be honest, what has really happened? COVID turned into a wet fart that just had us all working from home for a bit and led to unemployment for others. It was not the world ending pandemic it has been made out to be. The worst part of COVID for most people was economic.
War in Ukraine and Israel has not lead to a global conflict even with American and European personal being attacked and killed. No one wants a war. Taiwan is just sabre rattling and North Korea is like a drunk uncle waving a gun around, dangerous but not going to take over the world.
Then on the home front. We are all being squeezed more and more and we keep showing up and doing as we are told because what else is there? There is no real way to fight against this oppression. The Government just takes more and more and more and people just let it happen because they can’t imagine a world without someone having power over them.
Coming back to my broken ass country again. We had our government lock up and freeze the bank accounts of peaceful protesters back in 2022 and nothing was done. We all just watched peaceful protesters have their lives ruined and anyone who supported them have their livelihood stripped away and we kept quiet. I am guilty of this as well. I didn’t fully support the protests but I found how they were treated absolutely tyrannical and still I did nothing. Because it wasn’t happening to me.
I watched people I know lose their jobs due to personal medical decisions and I did nothing. I kept my head down to survive. Because that’s all you can do. When every pay cheque is eaten by rent and food, you can’t take a risk to help a stranger. When even the hint of violence leads to life ending consequences there is nothing to do.
It’s too easy to just keep living in relative comfort and hoping they don’t come for me next. I have a wife to keep safe. I can’t just take up arms and go fight. And who would I fight? That is the next question. A one man army storming the capital is just a mass shooter and trying to organize anyone to take a stand for anything is next to impossible.
So, nothing ever happens. We just keep trying to survive as more and more is taken. Hoping that the next big move won’t impact us that badly. Almost hoping that something big would happen so that we could seize the opportunity to make a radical change.
Here’s the thing though, and something I need to remember too. We can make a change. Just stop buying into the system. Refuse to participate in the artifice that is society. Be independent, truly independent. It is a lonely path but it really is the only path that leads to freedom.
Don’t let politicians tell you what you can and cannot do. If you want to do something just do it, who cares if it is legal or not. Just take precautions to not get caught. As long as you’re not hurting anyone you can do whatever you want. Refuse to play their political game, pay as little tax as possible. Maybe find a job where you can work for yourself and operate on a cash basis. Hide your income from the snake that is the government.
Resistance is possible in captivity. Nothing ever happens, remember that. So take action. Entire empires can fall to one bullet. Just look at World War One. Practice escape and evasion, train to fight, train to farm, train first aid, grow your own food, get some land if you can’t buy it just take it remember that possession is nine-tenths of the law. Don’t wallow in this government imposed hell, fight out of it.
This is more a message to myself. Something I need to remember. They can’t hold me down, they don’t control me and I will not kneel. No Gods, no Masters. Remember that. Fight for that. Make something happen.