As I’m sure many of you know I was once a pretty good athlete. I am that typical “peaked in high school” type of former athlete, where once I got to university and fell in love with partying and laziness I fell away from that life. Unlike those other peaked in high school types I don’t blame my failures on an injury, or the world at large, I know I am 100% responsible for every failure in my life (well, except one).
I consider myself the consummate failure when it comes to life in general. I fail at most everything I do, in fact the only thing I think I’ve succeeded at is my relationship and even that is debatable (you’d have to ask my partner what she thinks). Right now as I work on a new project and try to envision what success means for that project I find myself contemplating this central theme in my life.
Taking Risks and Trying New Things
I’m addicted to new experiences and new things, it’s a bit of a problem but that I’ve touched on but as it stands I don’t think it is really a major negative in my life. I’m always trying something new, throwing myself into new things and taking new risks, and I think that’s what living is all about.
I might seem to be harping on about this but it’s been something that has been on my mind for a bit now. I think embracing my creativity has caused me more pain in a way because it has taught me that I’m only ever truly happy when I’m working on my art.
I’ve been listening to a lot of lectures and podcasts lately that center around personality types and psychological motivation. These got me doing some online personality tests then I did a Creative achievement test and a few others (just to be thorough and because I was bored). I learned a bit about myself and have zeroed in on one of the central causes of my unhappiness