and that's a good thing

Nobody Cares – and that’s a good thing

This is one of those things that is easier to say than it is to believe. I think we are all so caught up in ourselves that we find it hard to comprehend that no one really cares and that if they do it really does not matter. I know for me this was something that took a while to sink in.

I have always been a very self-conscious person, shy and reserved, not wanting to make a scene or stand out.  I’ve always been worried about what those around me might think when doing different activities, to the point where I would not do some things out of fear of embarrassment.

This could include things like dancing, public speaking, or even just acting silly with friends.  I still have trouble doing these things, I find myself worried about the weird looks you get from people, worried about being made fun of, but I’m starting to get better.

I have been working at believing that no one cares for a long time and it’s finally starting to sink in. People are too caught up in their own lives to take much notice or even remember something that I might think is embarrassing.  No one cares, and by really knowing that, truly understanding that, I am finding myself set free.

It comes down to asking what the worst outcome could be.  For sake of argument let’s use dancing as an example (because I feel that’s a universal source of social anxiety), but you could also use publishing a book or some other avenue of public expression.  At the worst, some people will say mean things (often as they sit in their chairs too scared to dance themselves).  Chances are they won’t be brave enough to even say these mean things to your face.

So in the worst case scenario, not only will you not even know this has happened, but even if it does so what?  If someone is making fun of you for doing something fun then that’s someone’s opinion you should not care about.  They are not worth caring about.  That’s just for the worst case, most likely people won’t even care or notice.

We are so caught up in our own heads that we think that everyone else is constantly watching and judging us.  We are the stars in our own movie and this is a curse because we think we are always being observed by a critical audience.  The truth is most likely we are only going to be noticed by people who care about us and anyone who cares about us will be positive.

Those that notice and take that as an opportunity to try and bring you down are not worth having around.  When it comes to doing what you want in life, when it comes to trying something that is a little out there you’ll find that those who try to bring you down are often stuck in some shitty miserable life.  Successful and happy people try to bring people up, they don’t insult people to bring them down for doing something they enjoy.

That’s something I’ve found throughout my life, with my multitude of hobbies and attempts to try and make a go of something.  Heck I’ve been that miserable person bringing people down before, so caught up in my endless failures to believe anyone could succeed.  The more out there you act, the more different an idea you try to pursue the more you’ll find people shitting all over it.  This is because they fear anything different.  This is because they don’t like being reminded of how they are too frightened to try something different, or it’s because they are so boring they simply can’t understand anything that is not ‘normal’.

Fuck those people. Fuck boring people stuck in their boring normal lives. Fuck being boring and lame. Fuck being normal. Be different, be yourself and fuck what people think.  Hell, most of them don’t care anyway.

I need to remind myself of this a lot but it’s getting better. The more I realize it the more I see it as true.  People don’t care and that’s a good thing.  It’s liberating to realize this, liberating to embrace myself and what I want to do.  Liberating to tell boring people to go fuck themselves as I reach out for what I believe in.  Tell those who care enough to say I’ll fail to take a step back and fuck themselves as I try any way.  I know I’ll fail, but then I’ll try again.  They might have a momentary “I told you so” but when all is said and done I’ll know that I kept trying where they gave up.

We are all dead, it’s already happened.  Time is set, at some point in the fourth dimension you stop existing and I do too.  So who cares what anyone thinks, we are all the walking dead.

Do the things you want to do, be yourself and live your life. Fuck what anyone thinks, and remember that most don’t care.

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