Taking Risks and Trying New Things

Taking Risks and Trying New Things

I’m addicted to new experiences and new things, it’s a bit of a problem but that I’ve touched on but as it stands I don’t think it is really a major negative in my life.  I’m always trying something new, throwing myself into new things and taking new risks, and I think that’s what living is all about.

We as humans are cursed by this constant need to seek out new and pleasurable experiences.  It’s what we are wired to do and if you boil it down to the animal level it makes sense.  Without consciousness, it wouldn’t be conducive to survival to be content.  An animal needs to be constantly striving for more or else it will starve.  If a Lion was just content with feeling hungry that wouldn’t make for a good lion.

As humans, this relic from our pre-conscious past is a bit of a curse, but we now have the ability to work around this constant drive.  We can make an effort to be content, and stop striving for the new and better thing.  For me, I live on the edge of contentedness, I take calculated leaps into new things before I commit to them.  Rather than seeking easy pleasure I pursue things that I know will be hard and potentially impossible in order to learn and grow. I try to find pleasure along the way.

What I do is not normal and I don’t recommend it. I’ve chosen a difficult life, and it’s a life I’m okay with but not one I think most people would be okay with.  I am constantly struggling and gaining very little from it besides experience and knowledge.  That’s enough for me, but some people define success differently.

Anyway, with all that preamble, here’s what I’ve been up to.

Filmmaking – I have a YouTube channel and it consists of daily uploads of weird, experimental art films.  Things I’ve enjoyed making but that no one seems to enjoy watching, and that is all part of why I’m doing it.  I discovered a creative outlet that lets me combine a lot of my interests and it has been a fun growth experience.  I feel like I’m dumping a raw part of myself onto the world and its rewarding.  Hard to describe but that’s what it is.

Writing – besides writing scripts and shot lists for my films I’ve been working on the occasional short story and am (slowly) gearing up to get started on editing one of the three outstanding manuscripts I have lying around.

Programming – still working away here, learning has been slow but I am making some progress. The problem I have here is that I don’t know where I want to dedicate my time.  Do I want to dedicate to web development or game development or app development?  Those are where I’m stuck lingering and having a hard time choosing a path to follow.  Once my wedding is over in October I am planning on enrolling in a part time boot camp that will hammer in some web development skills and hopefully at least make me employable in the space.  That might help me decide (and it will be nice to earn a living doing something I enjoy).

Basically, I’ve tried to master my free time better and attempt to have as little ‘wasted’ time as possible. Some days it’s hard to get started but I have found a pretty good groove.  Inside those three main things I’m always trying something new, always trying to take risks and experiment.  That is what makes them enjoyable for me.  If I get stuck into a groove I get lost.

I think, for me, a fulfilling life involves taking risks.  One day I hope to take an even bigger risk and truly validate my ideas by quitting my day job and working at one of my three hobbies / passions full time.

One thing to keep an eye out for is more video content being posted here.  It won’t be my “experimental” content, it will be more in line with some day to day stuff.  Not like a Vlog, but kind of just a documenting of different things. I’m thinking of doing a live stream tonight of me building a Monero miner, stuff like that.  Just because I have ideas for stuff I want to make that don’t fit into the niche that is my other channel.

We shall see.

Anyway, thanks for reading, I know it’s been a while.  Here’s hoping I can get a post schedule back on track.

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