On Starting Over

On Starting Over

One of the hardest things to do is to start over, yet it’s something I think everyone wishes they could do at some point or another.  To start over with a clean slate, turn back the clock and try again, only this time with the knowledge gained from failures and bad choices.

That’s impossible though, I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and redo parts of my life but sometimes you just need to accept what’s done is done.  There is only the option to start over while still moving forward, we can’t time travel (yet).

Sure, somethings can never be brought back.  Death is irreversible, relationships fail, time marches on and youth cannot be regained once lost.  There are things you can start again though, things where you can take the knowledge gained from the past and start over with an advantage.

One area of my life I started over in was blogging.  I had a blog that originally focused on fitness and motivation, over time though I realized I wanted to talk about other things.  I wanted to discuss topics important to me, to discuss technology and videogames.  To look at books and reading, to share short stories and poetry.  I started doing that but it made no sense with the niche I was in.  I never got more than an average of ten views a day.  After close to three years and no traction I rolled it up.

I failed at that blog for multiple reasons.  I didn’t have a focused niche, I tried to do too much, I didn’t have focused marketing, I was not generating the best quality content I could.  It was a mess of content that didn’t make sense in relation to the core purpose of the blog.

I went a few months without a blog, without much in the way of writing.  Then I started to miss it.  Despite the money wasted on hosting, despite the time wasted on writing I wanted to start over.  Only this time I wanted to do it for me and me alone.  I went into it without caring about getting readers or sticking to a niche.  I started this site, a blog where I can and do talk about whatever I feel like talking about.

I learned how to manage my own host and moved away from the shared hosting offerings with the likes of hostgator and bluehost, deciding to operate the site entirely on my own to save some money.  Now I write content I feel like and I don’t worry about marketing or finding readers.  I figure if people happen upon my site and like what they see they will stick around, it doesn’t matter if they don’t because I’m doing this for me and me alone.

I have taken what I learned I wanted from my previous blog and rolled it into this one.  I have started over successfully.  The next thing I need to start over with is my writing.  I have three independent novels that to be one hundred percent honest have not sold at all.  No one wants to read them and they are failures.  I learned a lot from the experience though and that’s why I want to start over with that.

I want to move away from the independent scene because it does not encourage my best work.  I want to turn the drafts I have now into real novels published by a real publisher.  I want to start over with that.

I’m also starting over in terms of career.  After failing at getting the dream jobs I wanted in life I have discovered a new dream.  One I can make for myself and one that with enough hard work and quality output I can make a real go at.

This new career is one that I can only fail at if I decided to stop trying.  It does not rely on an employer or an agency deeming me unfit.  It’s where I have decided to start over.

Sometimes starting over is all we can do.  Sometimes it’s the best option.  It’s hard and it’s not always possible but it’s a part of life.  There are a lot of things we all wish we could start over with, find the ones where it’s actually possible and just go for it.  It might not work out but if it doesn’t then you can always start over again.  I know that’s my plan.

Thanks for reading.  If you want to share stories of starting over feel free to leave a comment.




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